I spent the last few months saying that this time during the commemoration i won’t shade a tear.
It’s harder than i thought. It’s harder than crying. I was born to live like that, to witness the ugliness of human beings.
But also to prove that love exists and it has conquered all. Humanity exists but inhumanity also does.
I was feeling this anger while i was reading my friend’s testimony and i can’t lie that i felt some hatred in my heart.
That i had this strange and strong feeling and that made me feel bad about myself because all i want is peace and love towards people.
I However kept reading and trying to understand why i felt like that and i found that the recognition of negative feelings is part of our well being.
So if you feel the same way, it’s okay, it will pass.
Feeling sad is no crime although the world might wish you to think so.
All the feelings in the world never did anybody any harm.
It is our feelings that make us human and connect us to the rest of humanity.
During this year i did not want to feel anything at all but all of a sudden i can not avoid it because i am human.
From the 7th of April 1994 people were hunting my parents like they were criminals, they got them on this very date of April 10th 1994.
My parents knew they would die but they wanted to pray for God’s mercy and to hide their kids. No parent wanted to see their kids being slaughtered.
They did what they could and it worked. I am here! I am sure you have your testimony, get it out of your chest, trust me that will make you stronger.
I know it’s hard that we will always have to think how we can survive until we can live, but fasten your seats belts people,
because the journey has just started and we have to be stronger than ever.
To the world out there
Let me tell you something, some of the killers still want us dead and we haven’t figured the real reason why.
People came up with suggestions like, we are not from this country or we have a different figures.
What if i am from another continent, will you still wanna kill me? Or is it just that someone planted something in your head?
And with all the ignorance you picked it and you made it your life.
Men,you cursed your children with shame and sometimes they feel they are not welcome.
Well some of them might be like you, it’s not a secret just talking about the ones with hearts!
To my beloved ones
Years ago i was still young and stupid and i would cry asking my parents why they did not fight!
Now i know why you died, you died so i can live, so i can be stronger, and work twice harder to make a better world.
You died so i can learn many lessons that made me who i am today.
I am okay Dad, only that i miss you and you would be so proud to see what we have become.
I have a great job that i love and i have amazing friends, thank you for giving your life so i can have a life Dad.
I miss mom too, i am just like her, her mom told me how tough she was and i feel like i am her doppelganger.
I was too young to remember my grand parents, cousins and Aunts but i am sure you all are in a better place.
With love and a smile,